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 Seminar Topics Exclusively for Leaders.
Advanced Obfuscation

Use jargon and trendy terms to rise above any conversation. Baffle the brilliant. Amaze the arrogant. Confound the clever. After this seminar you will be able to say:

To fulfill our strategic mission to raise the bar as a high performance workplace we will implement a realignment initiative that leverages our unique core competencies while actualizing an open door policy to empower our associates to dialogue on proactive paradigm shifts.

Never have to apologize. Reframe any disaster to your advantage. After this seminar you will be able to say:

The fact that no one buys our products proves there’s a huge pent up demand.

Protect your valuable time from demanding relationships. Discourage people from telling you anything. After this seminar you will be able to maintain an intense expression that prevents others from completing sentences.

Bonus: Encyclopedia of terms that sound familiar but mean something else.

Instead of obfuscation . . .

"And ah, um, . . ."
Endless Meetings

Leaders belong in meetings because any time not spent in a meeting makes you vulnerable to having to perform real work.

Gain techniques that perpetuate a meeting. Learn how to make unrelated issues sound critically important. Learn how to repeat other people's ideas so that they sound like you thought of them first. Learn how to ignore what others say, appear interested while you daydream, and mumble. After this seminar you will be able to stay in any meeting forever, perhaps even longer if necessary.

Learn how to change your physiology so you can subsist on just coffee and donuts. Master endurance using survival techniques known only to potted plants. After this seminar you will be able to sit for weeks without having to take a break.

Bonus: Includes a special executive calendar that shows you are always in a meeting, even while on vacation.

Instead of painful meetings . . .

Your Home at the Office
Unbelievable Presentations

Master the art of unrehearsed speaking - Never have to think on your feet again. After this seminar you will be able to sleep during your presentations. And why not? Everyone else does.

Learn the power of vocabulary. Make gibberish sound profound. Replace ignorance with eloquence. Appear brilliant when you have nothing to say. After this seminar you will leave people feeling impressed with what they think they heard even though they understood nothing.

Avoid the dangers of being quoted. Learn how to complicate and confuse any issue. After this seminar you will be able to speak for hours without saying anything that anyone will remember.

Bonus: Includes 8,000 hour audio tape library of Congressional filibusters

Instead of boring presentations . . .

Speak for Days

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